Warnings: Rated Mature for language, gore and adult situations. Readers under the age of 18 are discouraged from reading.
Chapter One
~ Mae ~
It was a strange thing waking up in such an unfamiliar place.
Even through the haze I could make out the muted green walls and pristine white linens, instantly reminding me of a hospital in a well-to-do neighborhood. And as my eyes focused, I realized that for the most part that was exactly where I was. A hospital.
The problem with it all was, I hadn’t visited a hospital since my arrival here. I wasn’t even aware they had them in this god forsaken place. But the kicker had to be that I had absolutely no recollection of how I had come to be here.
My mind was muddled at first, only firing off random images that through my headache, I could piece together. The images were quick, like a snap-shot from a high quality camera. Glinting swords, big men, pain and silver hair. It was maddening and painful.
As the fog slowly lifted from my eyes and my mind, I gathered the strength to push up from my flat position on the bed into something more beneficial to study my surroundings, hoping to get a better handle on where I was or more importantly… why?
It was useless, though, for nothing in this small room would give anything away. It was nothing more than a standard hospital room, perhaps more tastefully decorated, but standard all the same.
The only window in the room was placed - however unfortunate for me - on the opposite wall and with the way I felt, I would only end up a puddle on the ground before ever making it there to snoop. Not to mention that it wouldn’t have done me any good to start with. Wherever I had ended up, it was dark and I didn’t see any light from the outside that would suggest its giving away of the landscape.
So, I was stuck. Until morning or low and behold, someone came to check on the patient, or perhaps their prisoner. Whatever the situation may be. But as I wasn’t wearing restraints, I took that as a good sign and sent a silent prayer up to the heavens that my luck should remain that way.
At least the room was nice, however small it may be. It gave me comfort that in most circumstances prisoners were not usually treated to such a room. Or at least I hoped not.
The sea green walls were pleasing to the eye and I didn’t feel like I was bombarded by the scantly placed artwork. Even the furniture was demure and less intimidating and I wondered offhandedly, if it was a woman who decorated this room.
A vase full of what I presumed to be fresh calla lilies caught my attention and it made me smile. But the smile quickly fell from my face as my shaking fingers reached out for the black leather bracelet that rested on the bedside table.
It was well worn and so familiar to me that I nearly dropped it I shock when I picked it up. It was not ornate or adorned with jewels. It was simple, just a simple piece of leather with three initials engrained into the dark hide.
‘MAE’
I couldn’t begin to understand what it meant, was it initials… or a name?
It was tiring but I tried so hard after that to remember something, anything that would lead me to a conclusion… anything to help me understand why I was here. Still, I only got brief flashes of a fight, a man with strange green eyes, a flash of orange hair… and then darkness.
I had been a nameless being when I awoke here a year ago, a strange sword in my hands. I had no memories and the cruelty of this world left me with little help of understanding anything. Somehow, I knew that I was dead, that much was discernable from listening to those around me. But other than that… nothing. All I had none when I awoke that cold night was that I was hungry, weary and that I would find no solace here beyond myself.
Quickly, I learned to use my strange weapon that had quickly become my only companion, it was a necessity really. It was that or starve. It wasn’t long after that, that I grew to understand that I had a sort of talent for wielding it, perhaps I always had and just couldn’t remember. It was how I lived now. By my sweat and sword.
Perhaps it was how I came to be here as well…
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were awake. Are you feeling any pain?”
Startled from my thoughts, I shot backwards towards the wall, clutching my sheets painfully to my breast as my head thuds loudly against the wood of the headboard.
The woman was striking. Kind looking, with soft soulful blue eyes and gentle smile. But I was no fool, I could feel it beating beneath her skin… almost like a hum of exhilaration. This women held power, and lots of it. It was nearly tangible and I could smell it, thick and heady in her blood. This woman was a silent warrior, one you would not expect and would sorely be sorry you didn’t.
Realizing that most likely meant me no harm, I released the linens from between my white knuckles and trembled out my answer. “No. Thank you.”
The woman smiled faintly, her petal pink lips lifting at the corner of her mouth as if she could sense that I was weary of her. She probably could. She seemed intelligent enough. She was looking over a tablet of some kind, perhaps a chart if this really was a hospital.
Taking up the empty chair at my bedside she asked, “Do you remember anything? How you ended up where you did? Anything?”
Shaking my head, I sighed. “I remember flashes; swords, silver, brown eyes…” I shook my head, feeling foolish as I droned on about things I clearly couldn’t remember. I’m sure I sounded as insane as I felt. “I’m sorry, I can’t remember anymore.”
“There’s no need to apologize.” she replied calmly if not a little sweetly. “Though,” she added with a small laugh. “You did give Captain Muguruma quiet a fright. I’ve never seen the man so flustered before.”
Brows drew up in confusion as I tried to recall that name. I even whispered it once, tasting the familiarity of it on my tongue but got nothing more than a flash of silver… It was impossible, I was drawing a blank. “I’m sorry. Who?”
Patting my hand in what I considered to be an affectionate way, her smile was pleading. “Forgive me. I wasn’t sure if you remember arriving or not. Kensei Muguruma is the Captain of the Ninth Division but all that will be explained later. Lieutenant Kurosaki is away on a mission in the Rukongai at present but I will inform him of your presence. I’m sure he will be eager to see you again. He took so much blame unto himself…” Although her last words were whispered, I heard them loud and clear.
Did this Kurosaki person know me? Did he know how I came to be in this strange place? Did he know how I died?
“Do you know me?” I asked quietly, hoping beyond hope that this women would be kind enough to enlighten me of my missing pieces. I wanted so badly to know who I was. To know anything about this place or how I had come to be in it.
She shook her head sadly and negative. She didn’t know me. “I do.” she said at once, shocking me further… but if she knew me… “In your current condition, studies have concluded that it would be best to wait and see if your memories return themselves naturally with the proper stimulation. I can tell you that you call yourself Mae and that you will get along just fine here in the Serieitei.”
A jolt shot through my mind. Blood. Swords. Silver. A number. Kisses. Sweet kisses in the dark.
Whether it be her words or possibly the fact that her words triggered those visions but it cut me deep, filling me with such a sense of warm contentment that my eyes stung as tears of hope fell.
“Do not fret, Mae. All will be well in time. Not many of us receive a second chance.” Her message was cryptic but I couldn’t find it in me to be irritated by it.
Was that something that would usually irritate me? It mattered little, I couldn’t be angry at the woman who had given me the first spark of hope I had felt since waking to this place.
Her hand was soothing as it gripped my shoulder, squeezing gently. “Let us have a look at that wound.”
“You will have be careful for a while, but it is healing rather nicely. Perhaps we can let you out of this room for a short time tomorrow.” The black haired beauty spoke with a smile the entire time she prodded me like some form of a science experiment. At least I had found the answer to one of my questions. Across my chest and left shoulder was a gaping, angry wound… but I still had no recollection of how I got it.
Visions burst from behind my eyelids once more. This time, longer and clearer. A man in a black Shinigami uniform. A fight. Another man, this one large and menacing. His voice was like thunder but I couldn’t hear what he said.
“Mae-san?”
“Excuse me?” I said at once, feeling a familiar burn of my blood rising under my cheeks. “Did you say something?”
Her eyes were calculating for a moment as she looked at me, and for a brief time I had to wonder what she might possibly see with her wise eyes. She smiled after a moment, and I unconsciously let out a shuttered breath. “I said you have a visitor.”
“A visitor?” I questioned, looking to the sweet woman as I wiped furiously at the salty hope still dribbling from my eyes. “Who would want to visit me?” It was an honest question. Or to me it was. I hadn’t made a friend one since my first night in Hanging Dog, only enemies. Why would anyone come to see me?
Her smile was blinding as she eyes lit up with mischief. I hardly thought it possible from her cool demeanor but it was there, twinkling like stars in the soft blues of her eyes. “A certain man who couldn’t stop blushing as he brought you to me wrapped in his own captain’s haori.”
Fire licked at my cheeks when I realized what she could possibly implying. Had I really ended up here… naked. I gulped nervously. Having to face a man who had possibly seen me in such a vulnerable state was not my idea of good finish to my already tarnished night.
“Should I send him in?” she asked. Clearly I must have had a panicked look on my face because she quickly shifted her tactics to guilt. “He’ll never admit it, but he has not left since he brought you in several days ago. I’m starting to think he never will until he sees that you are well.”
“Days,” I whispered to myself. My immediate response was a polite no, but after hearing that he had sat vigil over me. That he had taken time from his own life to sit at my door… how could I refuse?
The simple fact of the matter was that I couldn’t. In good conscience, I just couldn’t.
Clutching my robes tighter to my chest, I nodded and tried not to look half as frightened as I really was. She nodded in return, obviously pleased with my answer. “I will send Isane to help you freshen up, if you’d like?”
“Thank you..” I trailed off.
“Captain Restu Unohana, but you may call me Restu, if you wish.” she said politely, her free hand clasping the door as she slipped out into the hall.
The door opened several seconds later followed by what I suspected was Isane. She was obviously a lieutenant and was in a word, shy. She wasn’t the beauty that her captain was but she was tall like an Amazon but no where near a warrior at heart. This woman was sweet and honest. The revelation that I could read her easily had me smiling at her like a loon.
It seemed to make her feel better and she relaxed instantly. “Hello, I’m Lieutenant Isane Kotetsu. I’ve brought you a few things and can help you clean up if you wish?”
“Thank you.” I said, bowing my head in respect.
It was a quick fix and not the soak I had personally been hoping for, but with the grime wiped from my face and my hair secured off my neck, I felt like a person again and not a rat drug up from the sewers.
“Your beautiful,” she stated meekly, her face blushing under the weight of her own compliment as she handed me a small gilded mirror. I was trilled to get my first glimpse of what I truly looked like that wasn’t from the bowl of a sake dish.
Vain or not, I studied the image in the reflective glass for a moment, mostly looking at the strange color of my hair, wondering if it was natural or not. Perhaps I had some strange epiphany at some point in my life and dyed it this way. It was a pale but brilliant rose color, illustrious and full and the more I looked at it and the slightly darker shade of my brows, I concluded that it must be indeed natural.
It did compliment my eyes nicely though, or at least I thought so. It was quickly becoming my favorite feature; my eyes. Delicate and round, they were blue as the summer sky, making my trim heart shape face look fragile and demure, although, the feeling felt foreign. I liked it.
“You look much better Mae-san,” Isane said with a fond smile. I found that I really liked the company of this tall, silver haired woman and hoped that when I released from… whatever this place was, that we could become friends. I had been lonely for so long.
I smiled back, handing her the mirror to be placed in storage. “Thank you, I feel much better.”
“I’ll leave you to it then.” she said before grabbing my chart to make a few notes and flitting out the door.
Not a moment later a large shadow fell across the floor and when I looked up, ready to greet the man who had shown me hospitality, I gasped.
He was nothing like I expected. In truth, I had no idea what to expect, but this was certainly not it. He wasn’t necessarily a tall man, but he wasn’t short in stature either, and what he lacked in height he certainly made up for in girth. Nonetheless, he was a beautiful sight. His robes, while of the Shinigami variety, were vastly different from the ones I had seen so far; sleeveless and parted low across his muscular chest and I couldn’t help but blush as my eyes traveled south on their own volition to stare at the ’69’ immortally inked in black across his taught stomach.
But, undoubtedly, it was his face that caused me to gasp so. So familiar was his cropped hair of the most precious silver. Visions of those sharp features and honey brown eyes skipped across my memories before vanishing and leaving me frustrated.
“I know you,” I blurted, instantly wanting to smack a hand across my traitorous mouth as I greeted him so rudely, or at least bash my head in as heat licked at my face in a powerful pink blush that I’m sure, rivaled my rose colored locks. It was suddenly so warm in here.
“Uh,” he said dumbly in a gruff voice that told me he did not speak all that much, but possibly preferred to yell. He was scratching at his neck as if he were fidgeting. Something about the act, as simple as it was, was incredibly endearing to me. It was not hard to perceive this man as a fighter and most likely didn’t find himself in awkward situations with foolish gawking women like me.
I had been called a great many things in my time but not once was I ever called or considered shy…or quiet.
I gasped as more colored copies of my memories flashed like a Technicolor screen. Those eyes, soft and warm. Rigid muscles and sweet words. Two forms reflecting in glass as they gave themselves over to the true act of love. Bright silver hair.
“Restu said your name was Mae?” he said quietly, though I heard him quiet well. His voice was gravely and rough and I found it strangely soothing despite the disappointment I felt that he didn’t seem to remember me. Perhaps, the imagery was nothing more than a fantasy concocted by my own apparent attraction for the silver haired captain? Possibly, but a burn of my intuition told me it wasn’t.
I thought of calling him on his lie but decided to smile and play dumb instead, it was much easier that way and I’ve learned first hand that people slip when they’re not intimidated. Finally releasing my robes from my death-grip, I nodded. “Yes, that’s right. I don’t remember my full name but you may call me Mae.” I said, sticking my hand out for a shake. “Your Captain Muguruma, right?”
He nodded as well, a small smirk even more awkward than mine lifting at the corners of his handsome face as he gripped my small hand in his. They were large and sword calloused but the heat that passed between us was indescribable. Yes, I was certain now. I definitely knew this man.
“You can call me Kensei, it’s only fair after all.”
For all his aloofness and deception, which I was certain came at the behest of Captain Unohana, he was giving away more than I could ever hope in his familiarity with me. He didn’t strike me as a man to give a free reign of his given name to just anyway… which was evident when Restu called him Captain Muguruma.
You couldn’t beat the silly grin from my face was he sat, his heavily muscled body filling the chair that Isane had vacated earlier.
“So, tell me about yourself,” I said slyly with a wink, feeling more comfortable in my skin with him around. If asked to explain why… I had no answers. Not yet, anyway. He made me feel light and warm, safe and protected… even a hint of annoyance shined through. I was familiar with him. I just hoped he stuck around long enough for me to pick his brain.
~
It was well into the night when Kensei left, after promising to check on me again tomorrow. I just smiled and waved as he left, then nearly squealed like a love-sick girl when he was far enough away that I wasn’t endanger of being found out.
After a late dinner and a bath with the help of Isane, I found that I was exhausted and more than ready to let the lull of the monitors that regularly checked my pulse to drown out the world and allow the darkness to have me.
Strange dreams followed me shortly after, and not the ones I was hoping for. Instead of coiled bodies and limbs connected in the throws of passion, my visions were drowned in scream. Screams for help as a white, sticky substance, like a river of death chased me. It consumed my body in a fiery pain that never seemed to end.
A deep weight pressed down on my lungs and left me gasping for oxygen. My body started to shake harder when I realized that I was no longer asleep and that this pressure was real. It was being crushed alive by an unseen force and apparently I wasn’t the only one to notice. A scream forced it way from parted lips as my suffocating body started to sweat.
Just as tears of hopelessness started to pour from my eyes, a large form covered me, pushing my face into a warm, silky chest as it growled unhappily. “You fool! Are you tryin’ to kill her?” the voice groused.
As much as I was grateful to however it was that had come to my rescue, I found that I couldn’t focus at all on what was being said. Between the warmth of the body and the familiar fragrance of sweet red plums, I let out a shaky breath and sighed as the dark pulled me under once again.
No dreams followed me.
~ Kensei ~
An hour had passed since I left her side and I felt like the biggest jackass for still standing out here like some fool pup. If Shinji or Rose ever caught wind of this… Oh gods, I’d never live the shit down.
I’m not ashamed to say that when I first found her, curled into the dirt of the 78th, bleeding and half-naked, that I stared. But I am ashamed that I had not recognized her until Shinji pointed it out… she was just so beautiful and familiar looking. I thought myself crazy for comparing her to someone long since dead, but as other men in my division started to gather I realized, I didn’t like it. It was a strange fit of jealously that welled up inside me. But like most things I don’t understand, I pushed it off for later thinking.
“Like now, right?” I muttered sarcastically to myself. I was still pacing the streets in the 4th Division, feeling like some kind of an idiot that I didn’t want to return home because of some woman. A woman I didn’t know, or at least that’s what I told myself. If I were being honest, the striking resemblance to Maelin was uncanny, as was her attitude when she shocked the shit out of myself and Captain Zaraki when she told us all how it was. But it couldn’t be her. It was as impossible a notion as it was for me to de-hollowfy.
‘She’s dead you idiot, stop wallowing and go home!’
Ignoring the grating voice that was laughing manically inside my head, I continued to pace. Forcing myself to work out this unresolved issue before I let the obsession consume me. I had mourned her passing for over a hundred years, yet the sting of her loss was still as fresh as ever. I’d never love again, that much was certain.
For an hour I told myself I was just patrolling, but even I knew that excuse wouldn’t hold up if asked by anyone important.
Why did she have to smile at me like that?
Just making my eighth pass in front of the healing center, I felt a heavy spiritual pressure long before I heard her screams. Immediately on the defensive, I tore through the building looking for that idiot that would dare endanger her.
It was then I stopped in my tracks and thought about what I had just come to realize. Restu had lied to me. I had known in my soul the moment I set eyes on her again, but I dared not hope that it was true. She was Maelin… my Maelin and I’d be damned if someone took her away from me a second time.
Pushing myself faster I found myself in front of her closed door. I didn’t even bother to stop as the wood cracked and splintered about the room. I knew Unohana would have my ass in the morning, but right now I didn’t care… she had some things to answer for as well.
How could she lie to me about her own sister?
‘She’s a soul-reaper, you fool. They all lie!’
Rage clouded my vision as I heard her gasping from the weight of Ichigo’s strong spiritual pressure and it pissed me off to no end. But it was confounding, the way he stood there looking at her like she was a mirage before his eyes that he just couldn’t believe. Does he know her? How?
Shaking all questions aside, I grabbed him up by his collar, throwing him into a wall and pulled Mae into my embrace. It was only now that I could taste her essence, like wildflowers in summer. She smelled sweet… just like my Mae. She was still panting and crying but she seemed to settle some as she eased into my arms, mumbling about sweet red plums and soft silver hair. Then all was quiet. Had I not been so pissed off I might have laughed. Even incoherent she seemed to recognize my presence and my heart felt warm for the first time in one hundred and eighty years.
Isane tried a few minutes later to take Mae’s limp form from my arms, but I refused and plopped my big ass in the bed, taking Mae with me. Restu could kiss my tattooed ass if she wanted, but until I got some fuckin’ answers and that idiot left, I wasn’t goin’ nowhere.
“Captain Muguruma, I can’t say I approve, Mae-san needs her rest and you could always-”
Her name is Maelin Unohana and ya fuckin’ know it, don’t play games with me Restu, it pisses me off!” I growled, letting her know under no uncertain terms that I wasn’t happy about this. If she even suspected that this was Maelin she should have told me from the moment I brought her in… why didn’t she tell me? She never minded that we were together before.
Surprisingly enough, she didn’t cut my balls off and she didn’t call for that ape of a lover she thinks I don’t know about. She just smiled. Not the creepy one she uses as a tactic to scare the shit out of Shunsui or Ukitake, but a honest, genuine smile.
“I’m so glad you remember her, she will need you now, more than ever.” she said cryptically, leaving the unspoken questions lingering in the air and I guess I would just have to man up and ask her later.
Taking a deep shuttering breath and holding her just a little bit tighter, I whispered to myself. “Where the hells she been all this time?” As I thought back to how I had found her in my life again…
